can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
you inspire me to be a worse person
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
