ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
