i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
