Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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