i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
