good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
