never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize