i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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