your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
