if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
