I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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