haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Randomize
