Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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