I cannot find my penis.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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