Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
