Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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