Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
