There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
