I'll bet she douches with gravy.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
