I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
