Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize