my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
