come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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