There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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