gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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