You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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