I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I will be naked everywhere
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
