I feel like abortions should bother me more
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
