you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
