Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
well you can't waste a boner
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
