I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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