hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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