Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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