i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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