I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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