You work out of a Hotel?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
