I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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