Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
