I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
