Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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