Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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