dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
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