OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
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