don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just want to make out with him forever
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
