In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
This toilet bowl is my home.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
