oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
