actually, I'm a sock model
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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