i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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