I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
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