he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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