Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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