so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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