Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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