the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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