I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
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