Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
