and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm getting married
To pizza
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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