Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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