is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
