i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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