Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
