Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You are a genius and a whore.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
