If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
