I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
