IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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