BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize