If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
no you cant smoke seaweed
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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