She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize