i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
