She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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