Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
that's an acceptable place to lick
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
