And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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