I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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